sandy's general musings

I sttill need to get to the Alyssa meltdown.... but in anycase some stuff:

Alyssa is now able to swallow an Omega-3 vitamin. Hoping that will help
Jack is already an expert at his nintendo DS game. I let him play it at the grocery store.

Yesterday for Felix's bday the kids got up extra eearly. (yes, I managed to get them to bed extra early monday). They made Felix eggs and toast (with help). It was the 1st time all year that the kids were done and ready by 6:30 and could watch TV in the morning. Usually we are rushing thru the morning.

Felix took Alyssa at 2pm to the eye Dr. I met him there with Jack since Jack's speech was canceled. The appt took almost 2 hours!!!! It was really annoying. All to find out that nothing is wrong with Alyssa's eyes. The school eye test was wrong. At least we know, but that is 2 hours and 30$ later. I knew nothing was the matter because Alyssa never complained. If she was having eye issues she would be the 1st to complain!

AFter Alyssa left with Felix for hebrew school, Jack and I went to the pumpkin patch to the pumpkins for the neighborhood party. I will be glad when today is done. I dont like having the responsibility for the neighborhood. WE always do Halloween and this year I got a pinata and also pumpkins to decorate. Normally pizza/drinks.

Today at work is halloween stuff.... Then the kids get all their candy. We are going to use the wrappers from teh candy to make Alyssa's turkey project... Her turkey is going to be a "candy man" so not to be eaten on Thanksgiving (school project).

I really wish that as I thought of things to put in the blog, that it woudl magically appear, versus typing things in. I enjoy having a blog, but I feel overwhelmed writing everything. I probably should do it daily, and then it would not be as overwhelming, but for some reason I dont like to. Well I never did *love* writing. I love talking though!

Once again the world seems to revolve around Alyssa. I almost think that we should try meds, but everyone is against me, aka FElix and my parents. Felix will fight me tooth and nail about it. Anyway, last week was a bear with her. Then on Friday with the therapist, we talked about her social issues. I know she is like me when I was little. I dont want her to have the same problems I had. I made friends, but the majority were not in my grade, or not even in my school. My mom thinks I did ok in elementary school, but I remember even then not feeling like I belonged. In my case though, I was not opposed to playing what they were playing, I was just very insecure. Alyssa's problems seem to be more than that. She is very bossy and not into comformity in some ways. I hope this works out for her when she is older (aka drugs and such). But then again, she also makes poor choices. Friday night was the big halloween thing at their school. Neither kid hung out socially with anyone. With JAck though, he is a happy boy and people say hi to him, and that is just how he is. Boys in general are like that anyone. I did not see that many of the boys really playing with out boys like the girls do. Alyssa was asked about, but she did not want to socialize. She really only likes one on one socialization. And she wont play with others at recess because they doesnt want to be part of a group. Its a big problem, as she is getting older and really needs to have at least one good friend from school. Aly moving really messed her up, but it has been a while (all 2nd grade and now 3rd grade). I hope the therapist can really help.

Well the next thing has to do with the meltdown of the century over the surprise weekend of my parents visiting. I will talk about the meltdown later...

Yesterday Jack had his 7 year appt. he is 46 1/2 inches tall and 48 lbs. 25 and 40 %tile. I also talked to the DR about his "Social immaturity" and he did not seem to think we should be alarmed at this point yet. JAck is so smart and ahead at school. Its just that he prefers to be alone than play with other kids. Also that he talks a lot of nonsense (combined with his speech issues) , that many think he is 5, not 7. But I think a lot of smart people were like that as kids. I just hate that a friend of mine thinks that he needs to be checked out, that something is wrong, etc. If Jack is happy, and school is going fine now, its hard to get all these expensive evals . Even if they find something.... Not sure what is the solution. Maybe he needs a social group. (they do those). I also think that he has a different form of ADD. The kind that has hyperfocusing. I know that I wont medicate Alyssa , so why would I medicate JAck? In time maybe he will need some therapy as well , but for now,, if he is happy, excelling at school, then what good is all, except to appease a friend of mine.? He is in speech, so that is covered.

What a whirlwind 24 hours!!!!

Friday FElix and I headed to the airport and our flight was delayed due to weather, but not that bad. we got to a wet jersey and got our rental car. A chevy that looks like hearst. Got to my parents around 3. My mom joined us and we ran some errands and grabbed a late lunch. We went to see the house my brotheer is building, but it was pouring out. Also got some shoes for Jack. Rested a small bit and got ready for my bro's party.

The party was nice. I did have a few drinks. Unfortunately by 11 ish I was ready to crash. My one niece held up so much better than I did! (the other one fell asleep during parts of the party). My SIL did a decent job of the party itself. The DJ was a bit loud, but the video montage and the poem she wrote was nice. AT one point I was asked if I wanted to speak. I have to be honest. I did not have a lot ot say about my brother. Yes, we are siblings, but as kids we really did not get along and as adults, since we do live apart, and are completely different, we dont speak too much. Its not that we hate each other or fight, but we are just not close. I hope this doesnt happen with Alyssa and Jack, but I know its possible. aka, an older sister with young brother. That combo is probably not the best. TWo of the same sex, or older brother that protects his sister seems better.

Sat we stopped by the house real quick, but it as muddy. The weather was great and our flight back was actually early. Got JAck from my friend's house and then got home and Alsysa showed up. Alysssa bought Jack this thing that grows a tadpole. WE have to order the tadpole. Fun, huh. Paid for 1/2 with her own money, so what could I do. She then "hogged" it and went outside with it and cracked some of the plastic. oh well.

Sat night we went, yet again, to the corn maze. It was PACKED. Note to self. Dont go on Sat night. Sunday we had Jacks party at the gym. Indoor swimming. It went very well. The helpers at the gym were great. Glad that is over. Next thing is planning Alyssa's party.

I need more sleep. I cannot get to bed early enuf lately. Last night before I fell asleep I did not know where my kids were. I searched the house, the car (just in case), the garbage. Our door "beeps" due to the alarm system when its open. Felix got awokened (did not know this) and finally asked what Iw as doing. I said looking for my kids, and he said that I gave them to him and therefore he had them...

Well Alyssa fell asleep before 9, and woke up at 6:30 on her own in a great mood. Its 'bout time.

Last night I took Jack to the library with me, and then tot he $ store to get stuff for his bday party. Its very easy to take Jack , or even Alyssa, if I just have one kid.

I also went into project "recussitate Jack's party". 4 people that were invited could not make it. Two of my friends outside of school and two of the 4 classmates is had orginally invited. I wish I could have invited the whole class, but if all 19 kids said yes, that would have been too much. I could not do an all boys party as Jack wanted girls to attend. So I was at 9 additional kids. So I questioned Jack again about whom to invite. He also got invited to another kid's party at his class that he had been back and forth about. So that decision was easy. Then there is one girl coming and I asked if there were any other girls. So I got another name. Then he said this other boy at lunch asked to come.

So I called all the parents. the two boys were easy. The 1st, I said that I did not have the number from Jack, so I am glad he is having a party and I now have a number. The 2nd boy I called and said that I was sorry it was late , but Jack had a hard time making a decision and told me to day that he wanted to invite him. The girl's mother was not home. I did not leave a message. I come home and she left one thinking I am calling regarding her being room mom and that Felix is doing reading on Thursday. I called her back. We had a great convo about the teacher and stuff and I told her sorry about the late notice, but how I could not invite the entire class and how Jack could nto make up his mind and he finally did today. all parents were very understanding. So including my kids we now have 15. Which is a nice number.

For the goody bags I am doing "shoe charms" for crocs. I assume that all the kids have them. I will have something else small if they dont. They will be able to pick 2. I got flashlights (with batteries) and also those light up toothbrushes.

My parents might stop by next weekend. I am not telling the kids, as it would be a surprise for them. JAck wanted them here for his party.

I now have to also worry about the neighborhood Halloween party.

Last night Alyssa woke us up all upset. she said there was a bug on her. Then we had to put her back to bed. We told her she could sleep in the guest room. But she wanted to go back to her room. First felix and then 15 minutes later, me.. So I was up. Too much on my mind.

Being president of the neighborhood is not fun. I wrote emails at 1am. I think a house is going to be foreclosed upon. The person who lived there moved out. the lawn looks horrible. It is in the beginning of the subd. Not sure how to contact them via mail to send the letter that we can put a lien and mow it for them. I did find their work phone number on google and tried that. No luck. I dont mind mowing it for them, just to make things look nice, but I need permission. I cannot find any foreclosure info yet on line.

Then we still need a board member. Noone wants to do it. We have the Halloween party coming it.

Then there is all the financial stuff with us and Felix . I had to exercise stock options. I also feel like there will be an IRS issue, so I changed my paycheck for more taxes to be taken out. FElix was suppose to do that. Then I found out that the insurance from my work is being "discontinued" and I need to pick another option this year. The dental thing is a mess due to Alyssa's braces and if its transferable. There are other decisions with $$ that need to be made. THe lease is up on my car in Dec. I wish we could extend it for 3 more months to give us time.
The car needs some work on it (interior stains, and some dings that would not be good). FElix should be taking care of that, but of course, he is not. He is working on finding work.

So my brain is spinning with all the stuff to do this week. Get the rest of the stuff for Jack's bday party. order the cake. Get the kids ready for their 24 hour sleepovers. GEt on plane friday and come back Sat. All the usual stuff. And this morning Alyssa was in sleep deprived mood. I was as well. Not a good mix!

Yesterday was teacher conferences. THe kids had no school. I had taken the day off a while back and Felix, well, he is on a permanant "vacation". So in the am I had conferences wwith the teachers. I was able to move Alyssa's to the am. Since I keep in touch with them, I had no surprises. JAck is reading at 63 wpm and the end of year goal is 60. So he meets it. Math is no problem either. I talked a bit about keeping the kids that are more advanced challenged. She does try to give them more challenging desk work.

Alyssa is at 100 WPM and they should be at 90, so she is fine. She loves to read in class and has good comprehension. The teacher has figured out that even though it looks aas if Alyssa is not paying attention,that she really is. She will ask questions and Alyssa will know the answer. In math she can do the math, but this year they have to write out "how" they go to the answer. She can verbalize it well, but writing it needs work. Spelling is interesting as she does fine on the spelling words and ppatterns for the week, but will then go back and make mistakes later on. We need to get a spelling dictionary at home. The biggest issue is organization. Her desk is a mess and therefore harder to find what she needs, aka morning work. Overall she is going well.

Science and social studies are no problem.



So both my kids come out well. Much more + than negative and neither have behavior issues. on top of this, I FINALLY got Alyssa to get heer book report done. After conferences I took alyssa to the gym because afterwards she had her therapist appt and they were near each other. I really like the therapist and so is Alyssa. We are making some progress. Yesterday she started on social skills with her.



Afterwards we took the kids to the pumpkin patch. pics later.... Then to another corn maze. I wanted to stop at the outlet mall on the way back. unfortunately the kids were too wild and then Jack spillled lemonaide all over himself.

OK, ALYSSA IS READING OVER MY SHOULDER rAND ASKING ABOUT MY "DIARY". Have to continue later...

Sunday:
Ok, its later.... Anyway, yesterday was such a busy day. Jack was in the youth day parade. Meanwhile felix's friend (you know the one that I always talk about) brought her old crutches over for Alyssa to have. They are adjustable. Let me tell you that when Alyssa is home all she does is walk around with them. She did let heer friend try them. Anyway, I took Alyssa to her group skating and lesson and from the parade Felix took Jack to a bday party. Alyssa's BFF came over (the one that moved away a while back) and then felix watched them while I got Jack. They all decided to paint all the smaller pumpkins. And play with crutches.. Then at 3pm I took Alyssa and her friend to meet the girl's mom. Alyssa was invited to the girl's step sister's webkinz themed bday party. A new webkinz was the "goodie bag!". Alyssa was to spend the night there. When I got her this morning all I heard was how wonderful Alyssa was and how everything went well and how the girls were asleep by 10:30. While Alyssa was gone, I went to get a dress for that 40th party next weekend that has caused so much strife. (my brothers party in Jersey on Jack's birthday). I went to MAcy's , then to the rest of the mall, and back to Macy's with coupons in hand, determined. I was getting so frustrated, but finally this really good employee helped me. We both liked this one dress on me.

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=276334&CategoryID=26862

and with all the coupons, etc I got it for about 50% off (it was 25% plus another 20%, plus 10$).

I came home and got jack and went to the gym to meet my friend. later Jack and I went back to her house for Jack to play with her son. Her daughter (who is Alyssa's friend) was brought home by someone who used to be my friend. I am cordial to her, but there is no way we would be friends again. She is very judgemental about others, but seems to not want to look within. She talked about her DD not appreciating things , yet she blatantly spoils her. But I found out that her DD is also into "injury" like Alyssa and would love to have real crutches and a wheelchair! At least my child is not the only one.! Jack fell asleep on the way home. This morning he slept in until 830.

I went grocery shopping, got jack ready for sunday schoool, met up with alyssa, and took the kids to sunday school. It was my turn for juice , challah and snacks for Jacks class. After I dropped them and the stuff off I went to target to get Spanx tights and to get goodie bag stuff for jack's party. CAme home and felix took Alyssa to a friend's DDs bday party. She was turning 6 and had a fashion runway party at their house. Our friends asked Felix to take pics. Since Alyssa used to go to sunday school wwith their son, he brought her along. Alyssa and this boy must really LIKE each other--they fight all the time. Jack , meanwhile, after watching too much TV went outside and charmed our neighbors. Felix dropped Alyssa off (he had dinner plans and I took the kids to the playground and how they are eating dinner. So this was one busy weekend!
We have pictures finally up from the summer and from this weekend felix shot some. Will have to post soon.
Overall I am pretty pleased with my kids lately. Both are doing well in school and behaving better; mostly when they are apart though.... but still.... My relationship with alyssa is getting better as well.

Now to get past the husband_doesnt_have_job, and that my job is making_me_change_health_insurance, and other assorted stuff like that.

Well after Sat morning's tyrade, I took Jack to see the scarecrows that the town next to us does. Came home and he went to his baseball game. Alyssa's friend came over and we went to this place called Holy Cow farms. The girls painted pumpkins and held baby chicks, kittens, and bunny rabbits. we rode in a "hayride". It was so hot outside. Mid to upper 80's . Doesnt feel like halloween/pumpkin season quite yet, but I heard by the end of the week, the highs will be just about 70. below avg. We got home and I got pizza for the kids and us.

Sunday, the kids went outside to play at 9am with the new neighbors. There was some note passing, including a bike being held hostage? Its sorta fun to just watch kids just "play". We took the kids to sunday school and met up with my cousin (by marriage) and her current boyfriend (my cousin passed away a while ago) for lunch.. It was really nice. Got the kids and then they changed to go swimming at the club. I did get upset with Felix as we both wanted to work out so I asked him to cut his workout a bit shorter since he now has time to go all the time. Well he did not. I was so pissed. The kids were pooled out after I worked out, so we came home. Jack has a renewed interest in webkinz since they added stuff, such as the school and the charm forest (he has 2 charms). Felix made pork (I know , so much for kosher since we are jewish) and potatoes. the kids were meah on the pork. I did have them eat string beans. We did try to get the kids to bed early. By sunday night they are used to staying up a bit later from fri/sat and then by monday morning they finally want to sleep in,. I remember that cycle as a kid myself. I dont want to be putting my kids to bed on the weekends as 8:30. Maybe Monday mornings should be "drive to school" day, versus the bus. Actually they could be carpoolers everyday if we want, but since they want to take the bus, we dont want to discourage it. There is about 20 minutes difference. I know we have thursdays as drive to school day as the kids want to watch Kid Nation on Wed night until 9pm.
Also I know that even once I put the kids to bed at8:30 they dont go to sleep until later. Alyssa flashlighted it last night ot read books. I know she needs more sleep, but its hard to force her to go to bed.

Its nice in some ways not to have to r ush home today. Also that I have the 2nd parent home. But in reality I want Felix to find another job. I helped him write a thank you note to the person he interviewed with last Wed internally. He should have done that right away mind you. They had some concerns that he heard about and his originally draft hit them head-on. I had to help him rewrite it to be a more softer and more subtle about the whole thing.

I wnat to volunteer him at the school for science day, field trips, etc, but if he gets a job, then we are disappointing the PTA/School that relies on him.

Next monday the school is having Math night. that shoudl be fun. It would be Jack's last baseball game, but I would rather see him do math night. Going to get the kids back into swimming. Drama will be done until Jan. Baseball will be done. Now will have time for swimmin again.

I am handling Felix's layoff much worse than he is. I dont like it when "someone moved my cheese". We have money to hold us over. I am strange about money. I dont like to spend more than what I make, but I do like to do what I want without worrying about it. Theoretically we are "rich" in that between the stock market and savings accounts we have over 3 years worth of Felix's salary. We would ahve to sell all our stocks and pay capital gains, but in a worse case, we do have $$$. He gets 3 month's severance. So we are basically covered until Jan. Its just that I want life to go on like it has. I want to know othat I can do what I want for the kids birthday. That if I want to buy an article of clothing I wont feel guilty. I feel bad if I have to hit savings.
The other big issue is that our car lease is up in Dec. Originally FElix was going to get a truck. Now he might have to drive another sedan. There are otheer decisions as well.

Alyssa has been a pleasure ---not! This morning was a crying spree for 1/2 hour over the spellnig of "picture". i was trying to help heer, but not the way she wanted. Then when I asked her to go into timeout , she would not. more stuff for the therapist to deal with. The book report is a disaster in the making. WE picked the "wrong" book for a mystery. yes, there was a mystery, but the solving of it, was not based on clues, etc, but rather confronting someone. how does one talk about clues and such when dealing with it. I did read the book myself so I know what Alyssa should be writing about.

last night the kids behaved horribly at synagogue after childrens services. Jack is so good when he is not around Alyssa. She eggs him on. Today I am going to just take Jack somewhere once Felix gets home. i like that he does religion on Sat mornings, but i dont like that I am "stuck". I would ahve left already but dont want to be around Alyssa . She doesnt deserve to go to the fall harvest.


A friend of Alyssa's is on ADHD drugs. The good news is that she is able to concentrate and do things much better than ever before. The bad news is that she is not eating or sleeping and losing too much weight and is too tired. Not sure what that mom is going to do.


I hope people are sttill reading this blog. Sometimes I feel like I talk to myself.

Friday night Alyssa had a bday party to go to. Laast minute a friend was in the area and asked if myself and Jack wanted to meet up for dinner and then anotheer trip to the corn maze. She had 2 other friends of hers with her. So we did. While in the maze Jack got his eye hit with a branch. Since he was complaining, even though it was getting better, I made an eye dr appt for him today right after school.

Just to sum up the weekend, beautiful weather.. baseball, ice cream, park, friend for Alyssa /sleepover. Finally got my toes done. ordered new cell phone. Finally went to the gym. Went to the mall. Found $3.74 jeans (marked 90% off).

Anyway go the kids from the bus today and went to the eye Dr. JAck was charming as usual and Alyssa acted like a 3 year old. She wanted to do her homework there, but then complained and whined. So I told her she did not have to do it then, but she whined more that she wanted to, but wanted to be home. Anyway, after my 30$ copay (diary farm/maze 30$ now another 30...) we had to go to the pharmacy to get eye drops (add anotheer $40=100). It took a while and Jack wanted everything in there halloween related. he would "pay with his own money". We dont need more junk. Finally I let him have halloween silly string.

We got home and went to start homework (almost 2 hours later) and Alyssas big binder with everything in it was not there. She had not put it back in her backpack. So someone had to go back to the eye Dr (5 min away). Alyssa had a tandrum. Felix refused to go back for me. I finally lost my cool. But at felix. I am trying so hard not to lose my cool with Alyssa. She was already in her room in her own timeout. I was eating a chicken wing and was soooo angry that Felix would not help me that I threw it at him and stormed out. I NEEDED him to do this one thing. At least while I was gone he helped JAck do his homework. Then when I got back with Alyssa's stuff he worked with heer. Once again she was not being very cooperative.
Then Alyssa went outside to play. Jack went with Felix to baseball and I found out that alyssa took her bike outside of the cul de sac with the new boy (4th grader) and went to the other cul de sac to see if the girl whose party she went to would come out and play. I made her come home. I lectured her about telling me where she is going. I was angry again, but trying to stay calm. She would not go in the house and I was not up for a war. Finally got her in after a few more rounds on her bike. I know I should have stood my ground. She was in a rotten mood and I did not want to set up another meltdown. Then we are settled down and the other kids come by to ask her to come out and play. So much for holding my ground.
WEll now its an hour later, almost bedtime and they have gone home. Jack and Felix are not home yet. Its almost 8:15. Bedtime shouddl be 8;30. It is going to be a war zone tonight. One more thing and Alyssa's doll is taken away. I am trying so hard to keep my cool. I did not reward her at all today. I wish I could do takeaway for bad decisions, as much as it was suggested to reward for good decisions.

Jack wants his own chart. I tried to explain that he doesnt need one, but he wants a reward system. He also makes up his own "I deserve a reward". He will hug or kiss me and then put down that he did something good. In some ways its extremely cute and endearing. I bet I can get some milage out of it.

I am sooo ready for bedtime and my break.