sandy's general musings

I posted an update in my december mom's list. I am copying it from there. I will later speak more about my brother and other stuff. Its been crazy with our trip to NJ, back 2 days with Alyssa and then off to camp for her. June was so so crazy between camps and swim team.

One thing I forgot to mention in my Dec list is that since school ended and Alyssa knows that she is going to a new school, she is almost like a new child in some ways. I see better social skills from her. I still see meltdowns, but less of them. The only thing I see more of, is some anxiety. I just LOVE her therapist. She really helps me to manage many of the issues.

Here is my post:
Yesterday we dropped Alyssa off at sleepaway camp for 3 1/2 weeks.She really wanted to go for the "full session" so we let her go. Shehad a such a great time last year going for 12 days. She has a girlshe was close to last year in the same bunk as her. There are 3bunks (with 10 girls) of entering 3/4 graders. Many girls come fromCarolinas or Florida. This is a somewhat religious camp (reformjewish). There are 2 conselors with the girls.The only sad part is that even though I can see pictures of heronline, and I can send her emails that get printed, she can only sendme real letters. Also, there is no visitation day. You can get astatus from the conselor if you call. last year I freaked out and didcall.While she is gone, her brother is remaining in NJ with my parents. Hedoes some day camps up there. I was very suprised the other day whenhe called and was a bit homesick. Last year he handled spending timewwith my parents just fine. not sure what the phone call was reallyabout. Either way, he gets to eat more junk food than I allow (my dadis buying donuts and ice cream), gets his grandparents to himself,goes to camps that he loves, and will spend time with his Uncle.(felix's brother). There is an issue with my brother that I am nothappy about though.Before Alyssa left for camp, I went to NJ with both kids for 9 days.Alyssa spend a lot of time with her almost 6 year old twin girlcousins. She misses them dearly since we dont live near them. Thatis where the "issue" I mentioned occured. I will probably blog aboutit at some point. Alyssa also got to meet a penpal when we wentinto NYC.. It was the daughter of a very good friend of mine from theBoston area. She had met her before when she was much younger, andthis year they became penpals. She has a brother Jack's age. Thekids got along great. I also got to see a few more of my otherfriends, including my high school friend that has a 3 year old and a9 month old baby! i have not held a baby in a very long time.Alyssa, at the end of hte trip to NJ, started to get "pre homesickness" thinking about camp. She started to get anxious aboutthings she normally doesnt get anxious about. She refused to go intomy parents finished basement. She refused to touch the bottom of thevery deep end of my brothers town pool, though she does it all thetime here. But when we dropped her off yesterday she practicallykicked us out!While the kids are gone , FElix and I are cleaning and declutteringthe house. Yesterday I did the kids room and their bathroom. I got1/2 of Alyssa's room done. I threw out so much junk. She saves somuch stuff and then forgets about it. I will also box some of it.Today, after work, I will tackle more of her room, and the guestroom.Felix has to repaint the dining room due to the sticky felt thatAlyssa put on the wall that tore part of it. (part of her ADDimpusiveness). We may put the house on the market to be closer toAlyssa's private school and get Jack in a much better public school.I really dislike our principal. Where we want to go is moreexpensive and I really do love our house. So its up in the air.Felix always works from home (company based out of KC) and I workfrom home about 3 days a week. This does save on gas, since we have atruck and a crossover SUV.thats about it for now.

Last night I went out with the "original" girls. the 3 of us had a blast! It was for my birthday celebration. We went to this 80's place I went a few months ago where I had a blast!. It was so much fun! I wanted to call it a night at 1am, and by 2am, I finally convinced my friends to leave!

Someone else was suppose to join us and had to cancel due to being sick the night before. her DD was suppose to sleep over with Alyssa. So of course, that did not go over very well with Alyssa.

Also, I had to have Felix bring my wallet, as I left it at home. And nowadays everyone gets carded!!!

Not much planned for this weekend. It seems the weekdays are very busy, but I dont have too much on the weekends.

I know there is alot more to write. Will have to think about it later... Next Sat we leave for NJ

Its friday... We got past this week. So far we lost one lunch box and one skort. (each kid lost something!). This drives me crazy.

The summer is going by pretty fast though. In a few weeks we will be on vacation, and then the kids will go to camp.

Oh a school note.... Alyssa got her report card and CRCT results. She did very well this year. Having a great teacher really makes a big difference. She ended up with all A's and also ,except for language arts, exceeded on her CRCT's. She actually did better than Jack in Math and Reading. Jack barely exceeded in reading, which suprised me. He is a great reader and has decent reading comprehension. I think he doesnt like test taking. He is going to just be one of these kids that dont live up to their potential. I see it now. I also expected his Math score to be higher (even though it was good). He knows Math. I just know when it comes to school he will frustrate me. Alyssa is going to be pretty successful in school--especially with the new school. She is coming into her own.

So overall, academically, the kids are doing well. Both could have gotten exceeded in language arts, and that would have been perfect, but who needs perfect kids :)

This week is a difficult week with camp . Jack starts at 9am and Alyssa at 10. she is taking sewing camp! I will do stroke clinic for swim team in the morning. Also, camp this week includes swimming, outdoors, and wet stuff. Last week was sooo easy. It was art camp. Indoors, with some dancing for exercise. Nothing but lunch to pack! love iT!!!!! Alyssa is pretty my becoming quite an interesting young lady with lots of questtions. She will do very well in her new school. They love kids that ask questions. She wanted to know if we will ever "lose all our air". She sttll can cry and melt, but not as often... I think she is having a whole lot less stress these days. Jack has decided that he is going to read, read, and read. He read Harry Potter. He is reading this large book about a dragon and a boy. Both kids read the 2nd installment of "Diaries of a Whimpy Kid". The just love it!!!! Alyssa is also playing lots of stuff from "Annie" on youtube an learning the words. I wish it was still playing on broadway. Swim team, as usual, is a bit commitment. The kids are getting better at swimming. Compared to other kids in their age group, they are not that great, but they are improving against themselves. The main reason to do swim team is for them to get some exercise in the dog days of summer... especially my couch potato Jack.

For myself, I had a sore throat for about a week. it was a just a virus stuck in my throat. REally sucked. I just cant handle illness like I used to. I then went thru a bit of a depression Friday night. I wanted to see Sex in the City and had noone to see it with. Made me feel, once again, like I have no friends. It should not be hard to find someone to see a movie. Also a few of my friends keep telling me about all these swim parties that they get invited to, and I dont seem to have these invites. I feel like I need to make more of effort to be friends with people for mine and my kids benefits. Or at least have more aquaintances. I know that at times I dont make the effort that I could to get to know others better. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. Its not as if I am totally friendless. Its also hard that I dont have family near by. It would be nice to have family around once in a while. Maybe at Alyssa's new school I will make new friends. I know I have an open personality that not everyone likes. With my issues , no wonder I dont have very social kids. The genetics are not helping them to be social beings in their lives. Reading the book "Queen bees and Wannabes" makes life for them even scarier in the future. Someone else was reading this book, so I got it from the library. Being a tween/teen today is much harder than when I had to deal with all that crap. It all gives me such a down outlook. I have got to snap out of it for my kid's sakes.

Today we have the neighborhood general meeting. I had a hard time getting enough people to show up. I hope this means thats everyone is happy, but makes it harder to get a board together. It would have been nice to give up president, but I think I am stuck with it. I guess I am liked by some...

Well i have to clean up the house and get ready for my crazy week. And to think I have to fit in work with everything else. If we could afford it, I would probably be better off taking a month's leave of abstance during the summer.

Now where was I..... (its a tiring morning, laast nights swim meet lasted until after 10pm!)

The neighborhood. Yes I am president. I really dont feel like I am qualified. I can never get a board meeting together. I am also not a very strong person when it comes to arguing. I really HATE conflict and tend to back down or not bring things up. Well I was doing an OK job, and then came "the shed". I neighbor, who is also a friend of mine, had been fighting the HOA for many years over a shed that they put up. They claim it got approved even though it never did. Well the stipulation was that when they sold their house the shed had to go. Of course, my neighbor lists the shed when they go to sell! She is also a RE agent. So she knew what she was doing. This caused the previous HOA/board to call me, mainly the women I term (and many others do as well), the witches of HC. They are very strong personality women, whom have run this neighborhood for years, and one of which is impossible to have a conversation with! She is just very defensive all the time and always has to be right. Well they were all up in arms and on my doorstep every day. I had the ACC lead send a letter to the homeowners, but it got "lost". By the time they sent a 2nd letter the house was now under contract. Time for me to contact our attorney. (I am the only one who can). Getting phone calls about this shed as well as convo's with the witches and other people on both sides of the issue. Finally, lucky for me, the seller had the buyers agent contact me about why the shed could not remain where it was (it is seen from the road). I then explained about it being "illegal" aka never being approved. So luckily her buyers demanded that the shed now come down. I would have to believe that they also asked for a price cut, but I am not privy to this. Meanwhile elections are coming up and I am trying to get everything together. One board member is very elusive is hard to get a hold of.
Meanwhile, as bad a job I think I am doing, people want me to remain and rerun for the board . I dont mind the board, but president really doesnt suit me fine. the KIDs love that I am "president". It makes their mommy seem important.

Well now that is off my chest. Paranoid issue of hte day.... Why is Alyssa's friend's mom, who no longer lives near by, ignoring us. We have called several times. Also sent email... Talk about insecure.... I think ... " what have I done wrong"..... instead of maybe that its nothing. Wonder where Alyssa gets it from ....

I am going to do it. I have some quiet time right. Both kids are reading. Friday was the last day of school. Alyssa has been so good lately. I almost think that school was really stressing her out, even if not directly. I dont know when the shoe will drop, but its been wonderful.

Anyway, these days money is just flying out the door. I am so happy that Alyssa got into High Meadows. It was a great accomplishment since they make a large portion of their decision on when your child spent the day. She apparently impressed them. It also helped that I attended all the open houses and I was very flexible when they needed her. They want parents who will be involved. What I dont know is how I am going to handle two schools, with different hours, including one that is a 15 min drive away. Working on carpool. Also to maintain my work schedule. So I paid that. In the meantime, we found out that under our garage was "hollow". So we had to get a concrete company out to pump cement/concrete. I did nto want the house to sink! When the builder built the home, he did not pack the land down enough. The 1st owners had this fixed, but since more has settled . Also our deck needs work. I should have never hired a friends friend to build the extension. Can you believe that it cost 1300$ to sand, pressure wash, and restain a deck! Ok, now as if shelling out over 5K to do house repairs was not enough, along comes Alyssa's big psychological exam. This is not covered by insurance. We had her diagnosed with ADD from one of hte smaller tests, but decided to do full testing based on recommendations from her therapist, and that Felix wanted it done.
Let me backtrack... one of felix's torah study was about "Was Moses ADD". Turns out our rabbi's daughter is ADD. They had some experts come in and talk as well. This finally opened up Felix's eyes and he wanted the testing. THe results:
Alyssa is mild/moderate ADD. She has no LD's though (learning disabilitities) and is above avg in those tests. here memory is phenominal. Her IQ is above avg on testing, but the ADD makes it a bit lower than it really is. She may have mild depression. Even though she does good in school, she sttill has some social skills issues where she lets things get to her. The therapist is going to work with her on that. We had an incident at school where the mean girls stuff started. Notes being passed around. Also she had this one friend in the class and the other girls were always trying to take her away from alyssa. I am SOO happy that she is at the new school. I know that kids are kids, but at the new school, this is much less prevalent.

Wow, I have digressed from the house costing us a fortune to Alyssa's issues. I have not even talked about her impusivity, mixed with her creativity , which usually is what gets her in trouble at home. (yes, my dining room wall needs to be repainted now). Its funny after the fact, but not at the time. I certainly dont want to stiffle her creativity. It many ways its such a great trait. You can see it in her skating, her drama/singing/dancing. Her art work.

Back on target, it just seems these days that bill after bill is coming in. Summer day camp costs money, even if I dont use the most expensive camps. thats not an expense I have during hte year. Also, the synagogue just keeps going up and up. I sometimes wish I was christian and could "pay as I go". The churches seem to get enough money without forcing it on people. The Bible schools and camps are next to free. Not sure why this wont work in the Jewish model.

Wow, I have not mentioned Jack's name at all. His BIG issue right now is his desire to win. Swim team works real well because he is basically competing against himself. He cannot blame someone else, like in tennis... such as "they hit the ball too low", or "I was not ready", or the million other things. Also, Jack never shuts up. There was an incident at school that got him in trouble when he refused to watch a video in music class because they were showing Elmo. He knows what he wants. I always here a "but mommy.....". He does need to learn respect of authority figures. Not sure how to instill this in him. There are punishments and rewards. I also fear what will happen when school is no longer easy for him. But Jack is still very self entertaining, and charming, and also is a harmonizer. he hates it when we argue in this family.

wow I have not even gotten to my all neighborhood fun. more later...