sandy's general musings

Alyssa attended 2 birthday parties. Both were similar. They had aDJ in a large room. One was at a clubhouse and the DJ did mostly radio disney stuff, and they had some prizes for dance contest, etc. Alyssa was closer to this girl. The 2nd party was a chinese buffet restaurant in a room by itself. It was someone from her class. It had more hiphopish music, but also did the stuff the kids like (high school musical, cheetah girls, et al). This one had a bubble machine, hula hoops, and more prizes. Alyssa said she liked the 2nd one better, which surprised me in some sense. In both parties I did not find her very social. Her old best friend and other kids she had known from preschool were at the 1st party, but she barely talked to them. She only really socialized with the birthday girl. The 2nd party, she just sorta did her thing, not really socializing, per say.
Now for the mommy social thing. At the 1st party, there are 2 moms there that now hate each other. We used to have a dinner group when the kids were all the same pre-K that met with our kids every week. A fallout occured and at the time basically one of the women was then no longer part of the group since she was not part of the original group to begin with. The girl who had the party is still friends with both the kids. The one that no longer did the dinner group is in the same public school, while the other is not, but the moms are still very tight. I am no longer friends with mom that stayed in the group since in the end I found her too judgemental on everyone. She even got mad at me for various things. I could not keep walking on egg shells and Alyssa and her daughter sorta lost interest in remaining friends. Now the woman that was shunned is not someone that I loved, but she is ok. I would never become close with her, but I dont see why we cant talk. Long story short, at the beginning of the party, mom A (the one who was shunned) showed up first, so we talked a bunch. Then mom B showed up. She remained far away from mom A and was talking to another person that was part of our dinner group (the only one with a boy:) ). I had not seen her in a while, so eventually I went to talk to her and mom B. We even left briefly to get something from starbucks (it was ok, as parents did not have to stay).
So I talked to both mom A and mom B. I dont like this whole thing to begin with. Mom B should just "let it go" at this point. I do sometimes miss our big group dinners. Note that the birthday girl and her mom are both friends with all of us. I talk to her frequently. To be honest I do wish Alyssa ended up as social as her daughter. They have known each other since they were 2. I am glad her daughter and Alyssa do get along so well still. When she grows up she is definately going to be one of the nice popular girls. I wanted one of those, but I know that I did not get it , and have to just "get over it"

Onto Alyssa and her behavior. It has improved soooo much. She has matured a bunch. We both know that she needs a timeout to calm down if she gets into one of her explosions. But beyond that she has become more cooperative. She is fun to do things with . A great shopping companion. This is what I guess I dreamed having a daughter would be like. One other change I have made is that I really try to compliment her when she is doing good things. The phsyiatrist did help me in getting along with my daughter. She is also now sleeping through the night as well. I am not sure which brought which. Did us getting along better bring on the sleep, or did the sleep bring on the better behavior? She was behaving better first though.