Monday, December 18, 2006
the explosive child...
Well I finally got this book in. What it basically says is that just like some kids are behind in reading, math, or have other delays, some kids have pathway issues in their brain that can cause them to "explode". We need to help them train these pathways . There are several catagories of pathways.
Then there is plan A, plan B (their plan) and Plan C.
plan B can be emergency or try to head off an explosion
Plan A is when the parent lies down the rules. The issue here is supposily that it has not been working. plus kids supposily WANT to behave and comply and they know the rules.
Plan C is when you just give in as its not worth it.
Plan B is the CPS thingie that the book is about.
First you make sure that you understand the issue and are empathetic.
Then you need to state what the issue is at hand
Then with your guidence you help put together a plan that can work. In the book is an example of a kid that doesnt want to go to movies, but the mom has to take the brother.
Well here was my situation over the weekend. Alyssa got an "F" on a math test. She has issues with subtraction. So she need to do so workbook stuff. She said no on friday and sat, and said she would do it on sunday. of course when yesterday came a battle ensued and she "exploaded". The person we saw told me that we should ignore it. Well I wanted her to do it, so it was hard to "ignore" it completely but we did send her to her room. We got the usual "you think I am stupid"; I hate my life; and so on.
Eventually when I left the house with Jack she did do it. But she also destroyed her room in the process. Felix did not think that anything is wrong with that. I did not discover this until much later aka bedtime.
So after all this, on the way to a chanukah party we used the cps plan.
Me: you hate to do math subtraction
HER: yes, plus you made me do some addition in that workbook as well.
Me: But you need practice since you seem to have problems with it. Can you come up with a solution as to how we wont fight over getting you to improve in math.
HER: let me think... time passes... me: do you want ideas... yes
ME: What about a small reward after doing X worksheets.
HEr that sounds good. and off she went thinking about reward. In teh meantime I also said
that we could also get a math tutor, but we decided not to.
So I shall see. We have tried rewards for math before and it has failed. We both came up with it, so lets see.
Another strange thing Alyssa did was bite herself last week. She has no good reason as to why she did it. She bit her arm.
Other notes:
Alyssa has a bad cold. I hope its just a cold. I have heard of strep without fever going around. She has her 8 year tomorrow so we shall see.
WE had the skating show. Alyssa loved doing that.
Jack got a new game for his gamecube. He had a great week last week. We went got a used game at ebgames. They have a 7 day return policy. Its hard to find the type of games he likes. He loves the pinball game and wnats stuff like that. the one we got has bowling and similar things, but first you need to "get there". that is where he has issues. I need to get some super mario games, but they are expensive.
Then there is plan A, plan B (their plan) and Plan C.
plan B can be emergency or try to head off an explosion
Plan A is when the parent lies down the rules. The issue here is supposily that it has not been working. plus kids supposily WANT to behave and comply and they know the rules.
Plan C is when you just give in as its not worth it.
Plan B is the CPS thingie that the book is about.
First you make sure that you understand the issue and are empathetic.
Then you need to state what the issue is at hand
Then with your guidence you help put together a plan that can work. In the book is an example of a kid that doesnt want to go to movies, but the mom has to take the brother.
Well here was my situation over the weekend. Alyssa got an "F" on a math test. She has issues with subtraction. So she need to do so workbook stuff. She said no on friday and sat, and said she would do it on sunday. of course when yesterday came a battle ensued and she "exploaded". The person we saw told me that we should ignore it. Well I wanted her to do it, so it was hard to "ignore" it completely but we did send her to her room. We got the usual "you think I am stupid"; I hate my life; and so on.
Eventually when I left the house with Jack she did do it. But she also destroyed her room in the process. Felix did not think that anything is wrong with that. I did not discover this until much later aka bedtime.
So after all this, on the way to a chanukah party we used the cps plan.
Me: you hate to do math subtraction
HER: yes, plus you made me do some addition in that workbook as well.
Me: But you need practice since you seem to have problems with it. Can you come up with a solution as to how we wont fight over getting you to improve in math.
HER: let me think... time passes... me: do you want ideas... yes
ME: What about a small reward after doing X worksheets.
HEr that sounds good. and off she went thinking about reward. In teh meantime I also said
that we could also get a math tutor, but we decided not to.
So I shall see. We have tried rewards for math before and it has failed. We both came up with it, so lets see.
Another strange thing Alyssa did was bite herself last week. She has no good reason as to why she did it. She bit her arm.
Other notes:
Alyssa has a bad cold. I hope its just a cold. I have heard of strep without fever going around. She has her 8 year tomorrow so we shall see.
WE had the skating show. Alyssa loved doing that.
Jack got a new game for his gamecube. He had a great week last week. We went got a used game at ebgames. They have a 7 day return policy. Its hard to find the type of games he likes. He loves the pinball game and wnats stuff like that. the one we got has bowling and similar things, but first you need to "get there". that is where he has issues. I need to get some super mario games, but they are expensive.
# posted by sandy @ 6:59 AM 
